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To maid or not, advice please..

Wednesday, May 14, 2008 –

3 months ago, I did not want to send Bryan to school until he is 5.
Bryan has been to school for 1 month now.

1 month ago, I do not want to have a live in maid.
Now – I am seriously considering having one.

Since I came back from work, many of my colleagues have asked me if I have hired/ planning to hire a maid. I said no. My parents are helping me to take care of Dylan while I am at work and Bryan goes to school. We cater food for dinner now so that my parents do not have to worry about cooking & cleaning until things are more settled. Usually my mom will just cook soup and one dish for Bryan in case there is nothing suitable for him in the catered food.

So why am I considering a maid now?

1) Time
2) Bryan

Bryan. I am just not spending quality time with him. Quantity is definitely not there since I started work. When I got back from work, it is usually bath, dinner, wash dishes (me or hubb), feed Dylan, tuck Dylan to bed, tuck Bryan to bed, laundry (fold, wash, hang), sterilize milk bottles & br pumps, prepare pumps & bottles for next day, pack Bryan’s school bag (change of clothes, water tumbler, milk powder, tea break snacks, etc). The list could be longer on some days.

When Dylan is cranky and won’t go to sleep peacefully, I would not even get to tuck Bryan to bed. So I am really missing out on spending time with Bryan. So even if I analyze my schedule, there is little time for Bryan.

Most days, I don’t hit the bed until 1230 mn or even 1am. Hubb helps out with the laundry sometimes esp when Dylan is cranky and I couldn’t pull myself away without him crying the house down.

So it seems that both hubb and I are always busy either with housework or Dylan when we got home and Bryan will be spending time with my parents in front of the TV – No Good!

Another thing. My work has yet to pick up since I just got back. My job do requires me to work odd hours sometimes. I don’t know how I would manage my work load, house chores and parenting at the same time when my work starts to pick up.

So hubb and I have discussed and seem like having a maid would help. My parents staying with me is just a temporary solution anyway. My mother had often expressed how bored she is at my house as she doesn’t have any friends to talk to. She also missed her TV dramas & programs because Bryan hogs the TV when he is around.

The maid will help on the housework. Hubb and I can then spend time with our 2 kids – one kid each. And I just thought that I will move most of Bryan’s toys to the family hall upstairs, so that he won’t spend so much time in front of the TV. And if we can manage well, my parents can then consider moving back to their own house and enjoy more free time. I oso kesian them spending almost their entire time taking care of my kids.

I will then resume my old routine of sending my son (now Dylan) and maid to their house in the morning and picking Dylan up in the evening again. We can also start enjoying all home cooked food as the maid can take care of the cleaning and my mom just need to cook.

My mom lives just opposite my grandma. So if she and my dad need to go out, she can just leave my baby and maid at my grandma’s house. There is just so much more flexibility for everyone.

And since my parents living with me now,  they can help me to train the maid while I am at work.

Sounds like a good solution, but…..I am worried. I have heard enough scary stories on Indon maid, so am considering Cambodian maid. SIL is recommending Nepal maid.

So should I or not? What do u think? Feel free to share your horror OR good maid stories….

Shooi | Family | Comments (9)

Relax mom….

Wednesday, May 7, 2008 –

The initial months of bfg is the hardest. After getting used to bfg the baby at home, the stressful cycle starts again when I have to pump at work.

Our company has a bfg facility for the employees. The stressful time is when I open up the fridge and find bottles of full ebm and my bottle is no where near full.

I used to tell other new mothers not to compare the EBM output but it is hard leh. How not to see (and compare) when I am placing my own bottle of milk in the fridge. How envious I am of other mothers who are able to pump full bottles each time. I know one mother who is able to pump 2 full 10 oz bottles at each session. Jeles-nya!!!!!

I am currently pumping 3 times a day. Once in the morning before I leave for work and twice during the workday. The volume is just ngam-ngam for his next day’s feed.

I have to keep reminding myself that what I am going through now is similar to Bryan’s time. My output is still the same but yet I managed to stay off formula until he is past 1 year.

The last few nights, I have been using some of my pumped milk to feed Dylan. Why? To try to see if his difficulty to fall asleep is due to inadequate milk. He takes the EBM from bottle without any fuss but he still need me to nurse & cuddle him afterwards.

I just found out at Kellymom that this behaviour is normal. It is very common for babies to be fussy and cluster feed in the evenings, particularly in the early months.

“It has nothing to do with your breastmilk or your mothering. If baby is happy the rest of the day, and baby doesn’t seem to be in pain (as with colic) during the fussy time - just keep trying to soothe your baby and don’t beat yourself up about the cause. Let baby nurse as long and as often as he will. Recruit dad (or another helper) to bring you food/drink and fetch things (book/remote/phone/etc.) while you are nursing and holding baby.

Does this mean that baby needs more milk than I can provide?

No. Don’t give baby a bottle — supplementation will only tell your body that you need LESS milk at this time, and that will not help matters. Also, keep in mind that formula fed babies experience fussy periods in the evening, too — fussy evenings are common for all young babies, no matter how they are fed. The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine spells this out in their supplementary feeding guidelines:

There are common clinical situations where evaluation and breastfeeding management may be necessary, but supplementation is NOT INDICATED including… The infant who is fussy at night or constantly feeding for several hours

(Read more here.)

Perhaps babies simply need to nurse more often at this time — rather than consume more milk.”

Alamak…seems like I have been doing the WRONG thing. Wasted my EBM that could have been used for his day feeding or to store! (I am obsessed with stocking up EBM in the freezer.)

Guess I just need to tell myself what I have been telling other mothers….JUST RELAX!

Shooi | Breastfeeding | Comments (7)

My Mothers’ Day wish

Monday, May 5, 2008 –

Mother’s Day is coming….And this year will be the 3rd time that I am celebrating this day as a mother. And it is doubly special this time round, coz I have Dylan to celebrate it with me.

This supermom wants to know what I really want on this day.

I have a very simple and basic wish this Mothers’ Day. I wish that all children will kuai-kuai go to sleep when it is time to do so. Both my sons seems to be battling night time bedtime nowadays and it is draining all my energy. I need ME time and I don’t get that unless they are both asleep.

Now, I’d like to pass this wish to

Chinnee
KittyCat
WhoIsBaby

Read here to find out more on what these mums like to do, and add urs to the list..and pass it on!!!!

Mumsgather on What I REALLY want to do on Mother’s kiDay

Vien on Not to lift a finger on Mother’s Day

Mott on All lil kids who aren’t feeling too good to heal

Shooi on kids to have a stress free bedtime

Shooi | Childcare | Comments (0)

The Rookie

Saturday, May 3, 2008 –

I wish I have more time. I have 2 seasons of “24” DVDs just tempting me to watch at home. My husband, knowing my love for the series, borrowed the DVDs from his colleague for me. But I dared not start watching them as I know I would not stop until I finished the whole series.

Once you start watching 24, there is no stopping as each episode will end with you anxious to know about what will happen next.

The last time I watched 24, I barely slept until the whole series is finished. That time, I was only a mother to 1. Now that I am a mother to 2, I have no idea how to survive with even less sleep.

If you have been up to date on the 24 series, you would probably have been waiting anxiously for the next season of 24. It has been more than a year since the last season ended and the new season would not start till Jan 2009.

If you can’t wait any longer, you will be glad to know that Degree Men ® is presenting The Rookie: Day 3 Extraction!

Similar to 24, the The Rookie: Day 3 Extraction narrates the adventures of American CTU agent, Jason Blaine.

The thrilling drama is sure to keep you at the edge of your seat as the CTU agents races against the clock to safeguard their nation against terrorist threats.

And don’t worry about the lack of time, The Rookie: Day 3 Extraction season is made up of six 3 to 4 minute episodes. So even busy mamas like me will have the time to watch.

In The Rookie, CTU agent Blaine’s boss have been kidnapped by a a nefarious drug cartel. Will Blaine succeed in saving his boss? What will he face in order to save his boss?

You have to watch the drama to know the answer…

Shooi | Sponsored post | Comments (0)

All mixed up

Wednesday, April 30, 2008 –

I think Dylan’s time is still mixed up. No matter how much we let him cry, he will not sleep peacefully until it is past 12 mn. And when we are up in the morning he will still be drowsy. I will usually pump in the morning before I go to work. If he is still asleep, I will pump. If he’s awake, I’ll feed and pump the other at the same time. Even with my electric Medela pump with the irritating lawn-mower sound, he will still sleep. If he stirs, he’ll go back to sleep on his own.

When I go downstairs, I will transfer him to the cot downstairs to save my parents the hassle of going upstairs when he cries. And if Bryan sees, us, he will cuddle cuddle his didi before I put him down. And though he will wake, he will fall asleep right back when I put him down at the cot. I have no time to nurse/ cuddle him back to sleep in the morning as it is usually a mad rush.

He will usually sleep peacefully till about noon, waking up just for feed / diaper change.

If only it is this easy at night.

So we gave up the night crying already. It is back to nursing to sleep and co-sleeping. I need my meager beauty sleep. I’ll worry about his sleeping arrangements later when he is a bit older and his time is a bit more settled.

Shooi | Dylan | Comments (6)

Countdown to pumping marathon…

Monday, April 28, 2008 –

Arrghhh…another day more and I have to be back to work. So sien la…wish i can go on maternity leave longer.

I took 3 months off when I had Bryan. Bryan was born in November, and I had saved all my leave and took them all at the end of the year. Afterall, they would be forfeited I do not take them. So I had an extra month to enjoy my newborn Bryan then.

But with Dylan, it is now only Apr. It is too early to start clearing leave. Besides I need to keep them for the “emergency” leave. So boo-hoo…i have to go back to work once maternity leave ends.

One thing I hate about going back to work is the pumping requirement, and I worry about not being able to pump enough milk for Dylan.

I have been storing EBM for the last few weeks as back up in case my pumped milk is not sufficient. My storage is probably enough to last a few days of feeding for Dylan, and yet I am still worried. I hope I do not need to rely on my stored frozen EBM to feed Dylan.

So when I took Dylan for his 2nd month checkup/ vaccination, I was soooo tempted to ask the PD for a can of formula milk, just in case. But i diden…. Just have to make sure that I pump pump pump…

Luckily durian season is starting… Durian worked wonders for me when it comes to milk supply last time…and sashimi too…. Oh how i miss sashimi..

Shooi | Breastfeeding | Comments (3)

Shades and blinds

Tuesday, April 22, 2008 –

Since we moved into our new house in a hurry, when it comes to window treatments, we only managed to complete those for the necessary rooms, i.e. The living room and our bedrooms.

Our guest rooms and kitchen windows are still bare and hubby and I have been looking around for suitable dressings for these windows.

For the kitchen, we want something that it easy to maintain and yet could offer us privacy. The most obvious choice for us would be blinds. As our kitchen cabinets are all in the original wood color, we have been considering getting Custom Wood Shutters to compliment our cabinets design.

But then again, I got indecisive when I found that there Discount Vertical Blinds available now. Choices, choices, choices, the more of them, the harder it is to decide.

Shooi | Sponsored post | Comments (0)

Missing my baby

Monday, April 21, 2008 –

I miss my baby.

No, I am not talking about Dylan. I miss Bryan.

I miss tucking him to bed.

I miss his kisses and hugs that he showers on me when I tuck him to bed.

I miss our singing and conversations before he drifts off to dreamland.

I miss reciting Buddhist prayers to him and him ending with the verses, “Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu.” at the end of the prayers. (Kinda like “amen”)

I miss being there for him whenever he needs me in the evening/ night.

Why?

Because I am busy tucking Dylan off to bed.

It is still taking hours to tuck Dylan to bed, getting him to sleep on his own in his bed. And I wish he would just go to sleep early in the evening so that I can have my time back with Bryan.

I miss you, Bryan.

Shooi | Bryan, Childcare | Comments (2)

Mia Bambina

Monday, April 21, 2008 –

Mia Bambina. I am sure many moms are familiar with this name. This is the name of the online store that brings us all the adorable, versatile, environmental-friendly and most importantly affordable parenting and childcare items.

But do you know what it means? Simple, it just means My Dear Daughter, in Italian. Why? Because the owner has 2 lovely daughters and her husband is an Italian hunk! So I guess the e-store’s name is named after the lovely girls and their parentage.

Thus it is not surprising to see that Mia Bambina’s logo is also depicting a cute baby girl. And the baby girl is sitting on top of the earth. Hmm..i wonder what that means.

Here’s what I think…

I think the logo represents that the earth belongs to our children. We love our child and thus we must love also the world that we and they will live in. A healthy world for a healthy happy child.

What we do today to our earth will determine the state that our children will live in later.

Ideally we want to give the best, the healthiest choice to our children and yet not compromise the well-being of Mother Earth.

Mia Bambina helps us to do that. By bringing wonderful chemical free parenting items to us. They not only help to keep our child happy and healthy, they are also environment friendly and yet do not burn a big hole in our pocket. Haha, the last point is very important. Every single person can make a difference, and of course the more the better.

I love the logo design. I am sure it has personal sentimental meanings to Sandra, the e-store owner. Yet it can be meaningful to others such as me.

I am happy to say that Mia Bambina has played a big role in helping me to switch from disposable diapers to cloth diapers. And I am happier to say that I am glad to know that I am making a difference to my child’s health and of course Mother Earth’s health.

Shooi | Childcare, Great ideas | Comments (1)

Let him cry

Tuesday, April 15, 2008 –

When i had the gathering, hubb held Dylan in his arms almost the entire time, while he was sleeping,  except when he needed to be bf (of course).

I updated the moms that that is the ONLY way to let him nap longer during the day. And at night, i bf him to sleep and he stays latched on as long as he wants, right by my side.

This is really bad and I have no idea how to stop this. Dylan started out as a wonderful baby who will sleep 3-4 hours when we first brought him home. I guess he was a fast learner and he soon learned that it is more comfy to sleep in someone’s arms.

My friends advice - Let him cry! Even his PD said that the last time i complained to him. As long as he is well fed, dry, feeling well - it is ok to let him cry a bit.

So that night, i gave hubb a mission…get Dylan to sleep without me. So i bf him and when he falls asleep, i put him in his cot. He awaked immediately and started crying. So i told hubb to take over and I am off to accompany Bryan.

Hubb let him cry for 5 mins, then picked him up and consoled him till he is calm and drowsy again. Put down….less than 1 min, cry again. This whole process continued for 1.5 hours before he finally stayed asleep for 1 hour in his cot. He woked up, and i fed him, and he went back to sleep for another 1 hour. The next time he woked up, i was too lazy to put him back to the cot and I just let him bf to sleep.

The next morning, I bf him just before I send Bryan to his daily playgroup . And then hubb placed him at the cot in the room downstairs. He stayed asleep till almost 11am. Little progress in the afternoon as I took him to the PD for a check up and he stayed asleep either in the car seat or in our arms.

At night, the training continues. I am glad that hubb is willing to be the trainer as I cannot bear to hear him cry. He cried for 1 hour, then slept by himself for 4 hours. I bf him when he wakes up and then he continued sleeping in his cot till the next morning.

He woke up when we did and he was awake when I  sent Bryan to playgroup. He was asleep in my dad’s arms when i got home about 10pm and i asked them to place him in his cot. It is now close to 12 noon and he is still napping.

Looks like the advice to let him cry is working….

Hopefully, he’ll stop crying for such long bouts soon.

Shooi | Childcare | Comments (7)

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