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To maid or not, advice please..

3 months ago, I did not want to send Bryan to school until he is 5.
Bryan has been to school for 1 month now.

1 month ago, I do not want to have a live in maid.
Now – I am seriously considering having one.

Since I came back from work, many of my colleagues have asked me if I have hired/ planning to hire a maid. I said no. My parents are helping me to take care of Dylan while I am at work and Bryan goes to school. We cater food for dinner now so that my parents do not have to worry about cooking & cleaning until things are more settled. Usually my mom will just cook soup and one dish for Bryan in case there is nothing suitable for him in the catered food.

So why am I considering a maid now?

1) Time
2) Bryan

Bryan. I am just not spending quality time with him. Quantity is definitely not there since I started work. When I got back from work, it is usually bath, dinner, wash dishes (me or hubb), feed Dylan, tuck Dylan to bed, tuck Bryan to bed, laundry (fold, wash, hang), sterilize milk bottles & br pumps, prepare pumps & bottles for next day, pack Bryan’s school bag (change of clothes, water tumbler, milk powder, tea break snacks, etc). The list could be longer on some days.

When Dylan is cranky and won’t go to sleep peacefully, I would not even get to tuck Bryan to bed. So I am really missing out on spending time with Bryan. So even if I analyze my schedule, there is little time for Bryan.

Most days, I don’t hit the bed until 1230 mn or even 1am. Hubb helps out with the laundry sometimes esp when Dylan is cranky and I couldn’t pull myself away without him crying the house down.

So it seems that both hubb and I are always busy either with housework or Dylan when we got home and Bryan will be spending time with my parents in front of the TV – No Good!

Another thing. My work has yet to pick up since I just got back. My job do requires me to work odd hours sometimes. I don’t know how I would manage my work load, house chores and parenting at the same time when my work starts to pick up.

So hubb and I have discussed and seem like having a maid would help. My parents staying with me is just a temporary solution anyway. My mother had often expressed how bored she is at my house as she doesn’t have any friends to talk to. She also missed her TV dramas & programs because Bryan hogs the TV when he is around.

The maid will help on the housework. Hubb and I can then spend time with our 2 kids – one kid each. And I just thought that I will move most of Bryan’s toys to the family hall upstairs, so that he won’t spend so much time in front of the TV. And if we can manage well, my parents can then consider moving back to their own house and enjoy more free time. I oso kesian them spending almost their entire time taking care of my kids.

I will then resume my old routine of sending my son (now Dylan) and maid to their house in the morning and picking Dylan up in the evening again. We can also start enjoying all home cooked food as the maid can take care of the cleaning and my mom just need to cook.

My mom lives just opposite my grandma. So if she and my dad need to go out, she can just leave my baby and maid at my grandma’s house. There is just so much more flexibility for everyone.

And since my parents living with me now,  they can help me to train the maid while I am at work.

Sounds like a good solution, but…..I am worried. I have heard enough scary stories on Indon maid, so am considering Cambodian maid. SIL is recommending Nepal maid.

So should I or not? What do u think? Feel free to share your horror OR good maid stories….

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This entry was written by Shooi and posted on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 at and filed under Family. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment(Latest is displayed first) or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

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15 Comments so far (Add 1 more)

  1. Like i always said, got maid headache, got no maid also headache, but we still need them to help us. But like ur case, at least u can sent ur maid to your parent house, so not much worry. I know, a full time working mum and two kids is really hard not to have a maid to help up. Go for it, get a good INDON maid, my advise - dont get cambodia maid!! hahahhahahah, because mine is cambodia maid till today nearly one year she still make me VOMIT BLOOD!! Yet their salary is much expensive than indonesia maid. This is just my two cents. Hope u get a good maid soon!

    1. Annie Q on May 21st, 2008 at

  2. “stand” i mean, not “send”. sowwie..

    2. allthingspurple on May 21st, 2008 at

  3. i think to each their own. I have been having maids for over 9 years. All of them send to MIL to assist MIL minding Kimberly till she was 6, then maid and Kimberly comes back to KL to live with me cos she needs to start Primary One here. Except for those maids from earlier years , all other maids since last April sucks.

    I cant send the last one so badly I send her away to FIL even though they dont need any maids, being able bodied and mobile etc. They even had to mind the maid ie. make sure she dont leave door unlock when she open them middle of the night despite warning not to etc.

    3. allthingspurple on May 21st, 2008 at

  4. I try to avoid maids as much as I can - and Hubby agrees with me. Unless you can afford Filipina maids (they love children), it’s really a case of luck with the others.

    Have you tried Busy Bees (sorry, I forget their name)? I was planning to get them on weekends too as they’re very professional.

    We value our privacy more than getting tired over house chores :-)

    4. KittyCat on May 21st, 2008 at

  5. i wanna hire, cannot hire. Cos no one to jaga the maid. Sekali she run away with my kid- i habis. But yr case u can send to yr parents. If i’m in yr shoes, I hire!

    5. sasha on May 20th, 2008 at

  6. hi was hop blogging n saw ur blog…. i think u shld have a maid to help u with the housework altho there are alot of horrible maid stories and i have bad experience as well, but we have no choice as we dont have anyone to look after our kids…

    6. alicia on May 17th, 2008 at

  7. Having a helper around sure ease a lot. But you must also be prepared for the possibility of Bryan may favours the maid after you. That’s what happened to my case. I am always the cop in the house so when I prohibit him from doing anything he will run to his ‘best friend’ for comfort. It hurts in that sense. Other than that, having extra pair of hand at home is godsend. :D

    7. yvonne on May 16th, 2008 at

  8. If you get a good maid, most of the prob will be solve. But if you get a bad maid (often happen), you get more probs.

    If you want to get a good maid, my advice, pay a bit more and go for a Filipino or a better class maid.

    8. michelle on May 15th, 2008 at

  9. quality time with children and family is most crucial when they are young. If u can afford a live in maid, by all means, go ahead get one to release your burden.

    I really cannot imagine what it is like having to raise 2 boys who are at the same age, same attention required. Even little issue like breastfeeding twins is making me tense now.

    By the way, thanks for your tips (playing classical music to attract the baby to go down). Have even included that in my post :)

    9. chinnee on May 15th, 2008 at

  10. Mott, Vien, WhoisBaby- I guess i know how u feel. You wanna hire, cannot hire, i can hire…why think so much hor. Ya, i really hve to pray for a gem now.

    MamaKhong - Honestly, even if i am a SAHM, i donno how i would manage my 2 boys without any help. My hats off to you guys.

    10. Shooi on May 15th, 2008 at

  11. time that passes by won’t come back. it is better for you to have more time with your sons than throwing ur time doing household chores. if you can hire a maid, although the quality of maid may varies but at least you get to spend golden time with your family. Go for it. I believe is not too expensive compare to here.

    11. whoisbaby on May 15th, 2008 at

  12. From what you’ve rationalized, you should go for it. I’m like Mott…wanna hire pun cannot. I’ve asked my mom to call some agencies for me…if can hire, we will do that..and have my mom bring the maid over.

    12. Vien on May 15th, 2008 at

  13. Ok. You really need a maid, seriously. Since you are working full time, I know how hard it is. Even we don’t have a maid, I also feel that I don’t spend enough time with the kids.

    13. khongfamily on May 14th, 2008 at

  14. I’d say get a maid, and pray HARD that you’ll get a rare gem! I say this because I can’t hire one….here… *SOBS*!!! So, you have ample opportunities to..do itla! You’ll definitely have more time with your kids!

    14. mott on May 14th, 2008 at

  15. Sounds like a good solution since you have your parents and your grandma too to help watch over the maid when necessary. As working parents you have very little time as it is. You need to free yourself from the housework so you can spend more quality time with your kids. Alternatively you could get someone to come in part time to do the housework. Why not leave most of the laundry, cleaning etc to the weekend for a part-timer to handle?

    No horror stories to share with you since I’m only just getting a maid for the first time myself.

    Shooi: Have to do laundry everyday coz i am cloth diapering and using lampins. Tried getting part timers as well but the quality varies depending on the maid that was sent in. And some maids tend to dilly dally and waste time so they don get much done within that few hours. I don’t expect a lot of cleaning during the week but even simple things like doing dishes takes time, precious time.

    15. mumsgather on May 14th, 2008 at

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